Adversarial vs. Relational Sales

Too many sales people are forced to look at every new transaction as a battle to be won in the trenches. "It's us against them and we must trick them into giving us their money!" In a word, the transaction is "adversarial"

Are you focused on the customers needs or on their wallet?

ad•ver•sar•y (Noun) Dictionary.com
1. a person, group, or force that opposes or attacks; opponent; enemy; foe.
2. a person, group, etc., that is an opponent in a contest; contestant.
3. the Adversary, the devil; Satan.
4. of or pertaining to an adversary.
5. involving adversaries, as plaintiff and defendant in a legal proceeding: an adversary trial.

ad•ver•sar•i•al (Adjective) Relating to or characteristic of an adversary; involving antagonistic elements: “the chasm between management and labor in this country, an often needlessly adversarial . . . atmosphere”I find it very interesting that a dictionary would use management vs. labor to describe adversarial. It makes sense. Both parties have 100% of their focus on themselves. Management’s job is to make the company profitable. Labor’s job is to get the highest pay and benefits for their membership.

I don’t have a solution for them, but I would like to compare them to what is going on in most sales transactions out there in the business world. One of the reasons I had to get out of advertising sales years ago was the adversarial role I was forced into by management. There is a natural conflict between what management needs and what is best for the customer. Management needs sales today and the customer needs an advertising plan that will work and not waste their money. Middle management is always under pressure to increase sales. They are judged by gross sales and spot rate. Their focus is rarely on what is best for the customer. The attitude of management is, “We need to do whatever we can to get our fair share of all the advertising dollars being spent.” Commission-only sales people feel the adversarial pressure out of shear hunger to earn a living. Furniture, car, real estate, mortgages, insurance or door to door vacuums, we have all felt adversarial sales pressure. The desperation is almost palpable.

"Talking To" vs. "Talking At"

Criss Castle is a friend of mine who sells cars. She is without a doubt in my mind the best at what she does. Criss sells a ton of cars focusing on the needs of her customers and working very hard to deliver what they want. The last time I met a car seller like her was in 1998. His name was Gabe. My wife and I were looking for a new vehicle for her to drive to work. We sat down with Gabe at the dealership and he visited with us for almost and hour. He really took the time and got to know us and our situation. Instead of getting us in a car to test drive immediately, he sent us home and asked for 24-48 hours to find a fit for us. He called the next day with two or three options meeting our criteria. That evening he showed us three cars, all three in our price range. One was a Mazda with low miles and 25% below our maximum expenditure. We bought it and over the next two years Gabe was the car guy we told everyone about. He was a real guy who listened to us and didn’t use any sales tactics or manipulation to close the deal.

“Anxious to close is anxious to screw up!” ---Roy H. Williams